Dear Project Managers,
If you are in transition to an Agile environment, I offer a handful of indispensable tools for dealing with such troublesome issues such as Self-Managing Teams and Gold-Owner questions like:
- On what date will you be done?
- How much will this cost anyway?
- The scope is fixed, right?
First, the “Agile Patch”
This simple wearable patch reduces a PM’s cravings for command and control, as well as the need to always have an answer, the right answer. Available in multiple strengths.
Second, the “Magic Agile 8-Ball”
And Finally, the “Integral HoloLens”
This amazing augmented reality device allows the wearer to immediately and automatically see the world thru the meme-type of those around them. Talking w “Ambers”? No problem. You’ll see things in perfect black and white – no pesky shades of grey. Chatting with an “Orange”? KPI’s will appear on the HoloLens’ heads-up display, so you can judge individual levels of performance with great clarity… Note: Microsoft is still working on a few glitches and expects to ship a patch soon, as soon as their engineering team figures out WTF Green and Teal are all about. Pre-orders now being taken.
Oh that’s good. I like!