Every leader has their “bless your heart” moment – that painful but necessary wake-up call that changes everything.
For Dr. Steve Martin, author of “Bad Sh!t Managers Do: How to Lead Instead,” it came when a direct report finally said: “Stop being a d*ck.”
In our recent Agile Uprising podcast conversation, Steve shared how this brutal honesty became a pivotal moment in his leadership journey.
I must self-proclaim, I was just really bad as a first-time manager. I wish I had that clue phone ring… but I put it on mute. I put the phone away. I didn’t listen to it.
Like many new managers, Steve got promoted for being a stellar individual contributor. He found himself suddenly responsible for a dozen people, armed with nothing but preconceptions about what managers should do: “Ooh, I’m the boss. I’m going to tell people what to do.'”
Bless his heart indeed
But here’s the thing about these moments – they’re not failures. They’re invitations to grow. After his wake-up call, Steve began to understand that management isn’t about control – it’s about creating environments where people can thrive. Leadership isn’t about having all the answers – it’s about having the humility to ask better questions.
This evolution from “telling” to “enabling” isn’t unique to Steve. It’s a journey many of us navigate, sometimes gracefully, often not. But these stumbles and recoveries shape our leadership philosophy far more than any management book or training session.
Share Your Story
Every leader (whether by title or influence) has their “bless your heart” moments – those candid conversations that sparked real growth. I’d love to hear yours:
- What was your wake-up call?
- How did it change your approach to leadership?
- What specific techniques helped you transition from managing to leading?
Let’s share real stories about the raw, authentic side of leadership. Not the polished case studies, but the genuine moments that taught us what leadership really means. Drop a comment below.
And if you’re in the middle of your own “bless your heart” moment – just breathe. As Steve reminds us, “We don’t know what we don’t know.” The key is being open to learning when those moments arrive.
Sometimes, the most powerful leadership lessons start with someone caring enough to tell us when we’re being a “d*ck.”
