Tools for Project Managers in Transition to Agile

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This post is for fellow project managers in transition to an Agile environment. In it I provide a handful of indispensable tools for dealing with such troublesome issues such as Self-Managing Teams and Gold-Owner questions like:

  • On what date will you be done?
  • How much will this cost anyway?
  • The scope is fixed, right?

196217-nicotineFirst,  the “Agile Patch”

This simple wearable patch reduces a PM’s cravings for command and control, as well as the need to always have an answer, the right answer. Available in multiple strengths.

050114magic8ballNGSecond, the “Magic Agile 8-Ball”

Simply give this device a robust shake, and then turn it over. Magically it reveals the perfect powerful question for the situation at hand. Suitable for Ha and Ri teams, as you can simply leave it in the team room for self service.
31 questions
For the Shu-level teams, I recommend the Project Manager, whoops, sorry, the Scrum Master Sage Arm Band. This Arm Band will provide a much needed aid in the middle of a Standup, Retro or even during a surprise conversation at the coffee machine. It comes equipped with 31 Powerful Questions visible with just a flip of a flap.

And Finally, the “Integral HoloLens”

hololensThis amazing augmented reality device allows the wearer to immediately and automatically see the world thru the meme-type of those around them. Talking w “Ambers”? No problem. You’ll see things in perfect black and white – no pesky shades of grey. Chatting with an “Orange”? KPI’s will appear on the HoloLens’ heads-up display, so you can judge individual levels of performance with great clarity…. Note: Microsoft is still working on a few glitches and expects to ship a patch soon, as soon as their engineering team figures out WTF Green and Teal are all about. Pre-orders now being taken.

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